im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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