dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
