...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
