I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
