If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
