i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My bed smells like the plague
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
