Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
