Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
