yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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