And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
