i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
