he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
