I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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