Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
