Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
