i just google imaged poop.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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