Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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