WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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