nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Acid is not a monday night drug
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
