That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
