Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Just high enough for therapy.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
