I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
