make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
