I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
