We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
