Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
