My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
