Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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