Your dad touched me again.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
