He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
