i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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