Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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