shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
