I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
