Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
