Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
