all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
my phone needs a breathalizer
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
