I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
