you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
