Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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