the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
