Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
