I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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