Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
