Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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