xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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