TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
