Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
