i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
