You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
