I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
