you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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